Do you find yourself thinking:
We struggle with managing conflict.
I don't feel supported.
I feel like we don't know each other like we used to.
There has been a betrayal of trust we are struggling to deal with.
These type of thoughts along with many others, are often what we hear from couples. Sometimes navigating relationships can be challenging and we need an outsiders perspective. Relationship counselling can help with this.
There are highs and lows in every relationship and no relationship is perfect. When we are experiencing difficulties in our relationship sometimes it can feel isolating, especially when we hold it all in. In order for our relationships to thrive, rather than just survive, it's important to understand our relationship dynamics and how to work with them.
How does relationship counselling work?
We use the Gottman method, which is the most thoroughly researched relationship counselling practice. The Gottman's have studied thousands of couples spanning over four decades, and through their research have concluded what works and does not work in relationships.
This method provides couples with effective tools to help heal the issues in the relationship. We begin the therapeutic relationship by getting to know you as a couple and as individuals, and we assess what we think would be most helpful for you to work on. We then present you with a treatment plan. Once you are okay with what is proposed in the treatment plan, we go through the process of helping you get to where you want to be as a couple. All couples are different and present with various issues. We tailor our sessions to suit your specific needs as a couple. Relationship counselling includes learning skills on how to communicate and interact, how to manage conflict and how to reconnect, as well as many other valuable skills. It can also include how to rebuild trust after a betrayal.
For more information on the Gottman method:
Is relationship counselling right for us?
Research has shown that it can take unhappy couples 6 years on average to seek relationship counselling (Gottman, 1994). For many couples, they wait much longer. This means that there is years worth of conflict and resentment that have built up. The longer couples wait, the harder it can be to break the patterns of behaviour that have disrupted the relationship connection. But even if you have been together for decades, it's never too late to heal the relationship. We've seen many couples experience the greatest challenges in life. These couples get through it stronger than ever by using our skills based approach to relationship counselling.
There are various reasons why couples are reluctant to seek help, which can include not believing in relationship counselling, concern about seeking an outsiders perspective or sharing personal details with someone unknown. It's completely normal to feel this way. However, evidence based research supports the belief that relationship counselling can greatly improve relationships. So whilst relationship counselling can seem confronting, the benefits of it can be life changing.